Here’s another email
from the Dating Guru’s Mailbag
I found an amazing girl online and I know we’d be perfect for each other. However, she’s not logged in to the site for over three months! I did some research based on her profile text and I’ve managed to find out exactly where she works and what her full (unusual) name is. I’m tempted to turn up at her work with some flowers…but not sure that’s the best course of action. What should I do to let her know I exist? P”
Thank you for your email.
Anyway, this girl sounds like she’s really got you hooked! It’s annoying when they don’t
log in to dating sites for a while as you can’t contact them on there. Remember, it could
mean that’s she isn’t looking any more as she might not be single, so keep that in mind.
However…teach my dating clients that you don’t regret what you do in life, but the things you
don’t do. So I like the fact you are prepared to take action and give it a go. At the
moment you aren’t dating her anyway, so you’ve nothing to lose if she’s not interested….and
you never know, she might just be!
The most important thing is that you MUSTN’T just turn up where she
works, tell her you found her on a dating site and that you want to ask her out! That will
just freak her out completely. It might seem like a romantic gesture, but from a female
point of view it’s not at all. She won’t feel safe or comfortable with that at all.
Instead, you have two better options:
1) You didn’t say where she works, but if it’s a shop, bar etc then you could just walk in and
pretend you are a random customer. When you see her, make contact and start chatting to her.
Or even better, try and work out where she goes at lunchtime. It’s better to go up and say hi
there than at her place of work.
2) Try and find her on Facebook. This is probably your easiest and safest option.
You could try taking her photo and doing a “reverse image search” on Google. This will show
you if the photo appears anywhere else on the internet.
When you contact her, ask her if you’ve seen her somewhere before as her photo looks familiar…but
you can’t quite work out where! That will start the conversation off.
If you have your own dating problem or question then you can ask our Dating Guru for help. Email email@example.com The best questions will get answered ( anonymously!) in this blog.
James Preece – The Dating Guru