This week’s blog is all about something I know a lot of people find hard.  Every day you see lots of interesting people that you’d love to start a conversation with.  You imagine what it might be like to get to know them. Perhaps it might lead to a new friendship or possibly more.  But how exactly do you approach them without coming across as a nutter or getting rejected?

There’s no big secret to this, it’s all about “attitude”    Approach them with the aim to just have a friendly conversation rather than anything more.   If you put too much pressure on yourself you’ll just make it awkward.

One of the most important things to remember is to be spontaneous. Don’t even think about whether you should talk to them or not – just do it!   You don’t have to fancy them as every approach is just practice for the next one. Above all, have fun.    If you can get their attention right away when they aren’t expecting it they won’t have time to be defensive.

I suggest you approach people everywhere except clubs and bars ( as they will be on their guard and “expecting” to be approached.)   The best places are bookstores, supermarkets, public transport and coffee shops. Many many singles  hang out in coffee shops during their lunch hour. Just sit in one for a while and watch who comes in.

Finally, when you do approach them, have a question to ask them.  Ask them which coffee is best as there are so many choices, or if they have read a certain book.   It doesn’t really matter WHAT you say, just make sure you smile and put them at ease.  Don’t ask questions that rely on simple yes/no replies as you want to get into discussions with them.

The more people you approach then the easier it will be next time. Before long it will just come naturally and you’ll find they will  even approach you first!

There’s a fantastic course aimed at men which I do recommend you have a read of, which teaches these skills in more detail:

http://tinyurl.com/ya89j5a

Good luck!

James Preece – The Dating Guru
www.singlesolution.com

Hi! Let me introduce myself……I’m Louise Gillespie-Smith and I have been a personal stylist for just over 6 years, my company is called Create Yourself. The main thing I love about my job is helping people accept themselves for who they are and to really make the most of themselves through how they dress, plus of course I really love the shopping! I often get asked about what is best to wear when going on first dates so James has invited me to write you all a little something to help you really knock your date’s socks off!!

Following are my top 5 tips on how to look your most attractive and most fabulous:

1)      Take some time to prepare: If you want to be looking your best pamper yourself a bit before the date, make sure you smell nice, enjoy the process of getting ready and get a good night’s sleep beforehand to ensure you are not turning up hung-over and yawning to death. Men make sure you have cleaned your teeth…..I know I don’t need to say this to women as they know the importance of not showing up with bad breath!!

2)      Be yourself: With studies showing that image and body language is 55% of what matters most in first impressions it is really important to be feeling comfortable in what you are wearing, confident that you look your best and that you are conveying the real you. Until we really know someone we can only judge them by how they come across and a big part of that is through their image. There is no point trying to be something you are not, if they don’t like you for who you really are then they are not worth it anyway! There are all sorts of ways of doing this by using colours, styles, accessories and make up. Have a think about your key personality traits that you would like someone to know about you and then take some time to consider how you can express this through what you wear.

3) Make an effort but don’t go over the top: You need to get the balance between making an effort and feeling comfortable. It’s important to feel comfortable so you are not distracted by hurting feet, pulling skirts or tops down but at the same time you want to look like you have made an effort, heels are always a winner for dates as they lengthen and slim your figure, plus wearing them gives you that extra boost of confidence and sexiness. However don’t go for totally over the top ones that will cripple you in seconds.  If heels just are not you though then don’t wear them, the most important thing as I said above is to be yourself.

4) Wear the right colours: The right colours, especially close to your face can really make you look vibrant, healthy and even younger! The wrong colours can drain you, make you look ill and highlight any redness or lines on the face. The most flattering colours for you share the same characteristics as your own natural colouring so for example if you have dark hair then deep colours will suit you more than very pale ones. Or if you have a golden undertone to your skin then colours with a yellow base will look fantastic where as blue based colours will drain the warmth away from you.

5)      Enhance your best bits: take some time to consider what your best bits are for example are they your; eyes, your bust, your bum, your legs, your stomach etc? Then think how you can show that off. It’s a waste of time and energy worrying about the bit’s you don’t like (plus it won’t make you feel very good about yourself) instead focus on how to enhance the great bits about you.

Please do feel free to email me if you have any specific questions about what to wear or what not to!! louise@createyourself.co.uk

http://createyourself.co.uk/

Sometimes we need every little bit of help we can possibly get when it comes to dating.  This can mean seeking advice from every possible source, no matter how weird or wacky it can be.   For example, there are many people who do believe in star signs. We once had a lady who rang up and asked how many “Librans” we had on the database.  She’d only consider dating them as she’d been told they were compatible with her own.

So just as a bit of fun, we’ve researched which star signs come out best when it comes to dating.

Pisces (February 20 – March 21) Empathetic, openhearted and intuitive

Aries (March 21 – April 20) Their fiery nature makes them extremely irresistible and exciting.

Taurus (April 21 – May 21) Sensual person who craves physical affection and affection. Only the best will do.

Gemini (May 22 – June 22) These are the best to talk to

Cancer (June 23 – July 23) Deeply emotional and family orientated

Leo (July 23 – August 23) Love to be the centre of attention

Virgo (August 23 – September 23) They love to help others and put them first

Libra (September 23 – October 23) Librans can be the most romantic people

Scorpio (October 24 – November 22) Can be emotionally perceptive and intuitive

Sagittarius (November 23 – December 21) Impulsive and adventurous

Capricorn (December 22 – January 20): The most dependable

Aquarius (January 20 – February 19) Aquarians are the most friendly of all the star signs

Do these fit in with your dating experiences?

James Preece – The Dating Guru

www.singlesolution.com

In today’s blog I’m going to be focussing on some of the very worst things you can put in your profile.  These are genuine comments that we see each and every day, over and over.  I’ll tell you what they are and explain quickly why writing them can be a VERY bad idea:

1)”Timewasters need not apply”    You aren’t inviting people to view a car, but to meet you.  Don’t be bossy, but try and come across as warm and friendly.

2)”I can’t believe I’m doing this”   This shows instant negativity which is a big turn off to most people. You are suggesting that you are embarrassed to be on the site and therefore hinting you are embarrassed to be contacting them.

3) “I’m not going to say what I want, but what I DON’T want!”  Again, instant negativity.  Why not spend the time writing about what you do like, rather than what you don’t.

4) “You’ll be paying”!   Are you just after them for their money?  Never write this, even if it’s just as a joke.

5) “I give great massages”"  Do you really.  We haven’t even spoken yet and you are already getting overtly sexual. Bad idea!

6) “I am a funny, clever person with a good sense of humour”  The irony of this is that funny, clever people would never write this in their profile – instead they would write something funny and clever!

7) “Ask me for photo”   You clearly can’t be bothered to put one up so why should anyone be bothered to ask?

8 ) “Hello how are you?”  This is just incredibly dull, especially if it doesn’t lead on to something wonderfully interesting…..and they rarely do.

9) “Lol!”   You aren’t a teenager, you are a successful, intelligent adult, so never write things like this. You already know that you should avoid text speak….don’t you?!

10) “I’m not a paying member”   So why are you even on the site?   Would you sit outside a gym and tell everyone you aren’t going to pay but you expect to still get fit? This sort of comment guarantees automatic suspension so never ever write it!

If you’ve seen event worse profiles than these then do comment on this and let us know!

James Preece – The Dating Guru

www.singlesolution.com