Is something hold you back from you getting success at dating?

We take a look the ways some people can sabotage themselves on a date and how they can fix this.

First of all,  you need to work out what exactly you are doing wrong.  Then it can be easy enough to put things right.

This can usually fall in to one of three things:

Too Needy,  Too Negative or Too Picky

1)Too Needy

You are so desperate to get a partner that you accept anyone who shows any interest.  You go out on dates purely for the sake of dating and often end up sleeping with anyone who pays you any attention.  You get upset and angry when you don’t hear back from the straight away and ruin possible relationships by being too keen or demanding.

Sometimes you think that this person will be able to fix your life or you’ll overlook major issues thinking that you can change them yourself.

The Cure:  Take a step back.  If you need to, have a break from dating and only ever date someone you think you really will have a great future with.

2)Too Negative

You’ve had some bad experiences in the past and don’t want to  let yourself get hurt again.  Therefore you focus on your past rather than looking to your future.

Your date doesn’t want to hear about how bad your life is or hear about your faults and insecurities.

The Cure:   Challenge yourself to be positive.  Wear something that you feel great in and keep your body language upbeat and friendly. Work out all the things in life that you enjoy and that are going well for you.   Everyone is different so don’t expect them to treat you the same as your ex.

3) Too Picky

Nobody is able to meet your high standards and as such you won’t give anyone a chance.  You’ll come across as rude and defensive rather than a possible partner.  Perhaps you won’t make the effort on a date as you’ve already decided it’s not going to go anywhere before you’ve even met.

The Cure:    Take the opportunity to find out more about your date.   What do you have in common?  Are you enjoying their company?  Above all, work out what really is important to you and let anything else go.  You aren’t perfect so why would they be?

Good luck!
James Preece – The Dating Guru

www.singlesolution.com

Sometimes life can get us down and we don’t feel things are going are way.

This can mean you aren’t in the mood for dating. So in today’s blog I’m going to give you some quick tips for instant happiness.

1) Try and give meaning to every day.  If you make one thing happen, no matter how small, you’ve made that day a success.

2) Work out what you have to look forward to.  Make a list of everything good you have coming up, no matter how small.   This could be a holiday, coffee with a friend or your favourite show on television.

3) Money isn’t everything.  The most important asset you have is your friends.   If you have lots of friends then you’ll have a large support group who value and appreciate you.  This is something no amount of money can buy.

4) Find a distraction.  Do something to take your mind off things. If it’s something you enjoy then you’ll soon cheer up.

5)  Talk to someone.   If you can explain to someone why you are unhappy you’ll be able to

6) Spend time with children.  Look after a relative or a  friend’s child for a day .  Children have a way of lighting up the world so you won’t be able to feel down.

7) Reflect on past glories.  Remember all the good times and it will lift your mood.  Remember that you’ve already overcome every single difficulty you’ve ever had.

8 ) Believe in yourself.  If you don’t then how can you expect anyone else to?

9) Sleep on it.  You’ll feel much happier when you are well rested.  Also,  it gives your subconscious mind the chance to work out to solutions to any problems you might face.

10) Try something new.  Step out of our comfort zone, break your usual routine and open yourself up to endless new opportunities!

Good luck!

James Preece – The Dating Guru

www.singlesolution.com

I often write about what to do,  what to say and how to act on a first date.

But what happens after that?

In this blog I shall be writing about the very special second date.

OK, so everything went well for your first meeting.  You made a great connection and have already  both decided you want to see more of each other.  You clearly both worked hard to create a good first impression so don’t blow it now!

You won’t be as nervous this time, but you will still be keen to see if the spark is still there.  Most people don’t show the real “them” until the second or third date so you might still be in s for a few surprises.

Here are some quick tips to make sure you meet up again:

1)  Location, Location, Location.   If you met for a coffee or a few drinks before, then this is a great time to go for a meal together.  Stay clear of theatre and movies for this one as you’ll want to keep up the conversation. Use the opportunity to find out more about each other.

2) Relax.  Let your guard down a little, smile often and don’t worry aboout things too much.  Don’t feel you have to rush into things too quickly.

3) Make the effort.   Try and go the extra mile and look even better than you did the first time you met.  They will probably have a strong memory of you the first time and their imagination can build you up even further.  So dress as well as you can, brush your hair and be even more flirtatious.

4) Plan the next date.   Do this gently and try not to scare them off by being too keen.  You DO need to make your intentions clear if you want to meet again as the third date can often be the “decider” date.  This is when you both decide you want to take things more seriously and perhaps exclusively.  Therefore try and talk about activities you can do together or places you can go – setting a time in your diaries there and then.

5)  Go in for a kiss.    It’s make or break time – if you like them then you need to go for it.  If you don’t then they’ll assume you aren’t interested and only ever be friends.  If you try and fail, you’ve not lost anything anyway!

Good luck!

James Preece – The Dating Guru

www.singlesolution.com