Sometimes you don’t want success when it comes to dating.
So here’s some advice to really screw things up. This way you won’t have to put any effort in!
1) Don’t bother to contact anyone on the website. If they are interested they’ll find you, won’t they?
2) Write your messages in text speak. That will make you look really really intelligent and cool. Spellcheckers are for wimps.
3) You know that a photo is important, so find one that’s at least ten years old. Add sunglasses and a hat to make you REALLY stand out.
4) Keep your profile short. No more than two lines is good. A bit of mystery can work wonders.
5) If you do send out messages, be sure to send exactly the same one to everyone you like the look of. Don’t bother to personalise them or
tell them why you might be interested.
6) If you get a message from someone you like always leave it at least a week before you reply. Let them think you are busy.
7) Take advice from your boring, depressive friend who hasn’t been out on a date for years. They’ll have your true best wishes at heart and will know who you should be dating.
8 ) Never pay for anything on the site and certainly never upgrade. Why shouldn’t they run a completely free service just for you?
9) Important: Staying home on your own on a Saturday evening is a much better plan that going out to a singles party. You might not meet anyone or have fun, but at least you’ll know who might win The X factor.
10) If it doesn’t work out right away, give up immediately. What’s the point in trying?
Needless to say we don’t really recommend any of this. You should do the exact opposite
James Preece – The Dating Guru