Treat people as you’d like to be treated.

We know that, so why doesn’t everyone act like it?

Respect is key when it comes to dating.  I often hear grumbles about rude behaviour, so I’ve put a few tips and guidelines together to help.

1) If you get an email from a member and you aren’t interested, send them a quick thank you but no thank you message.  There’s no excuse not to as we even provide a few pre written messages that you can send back for free.

2)If someone approaches you at a singles party then it’s polite to talk to them for a few minutes.  It’s probably taken them a lot of guts to work up the courage to say hello.  You don’t have to speak for long if you aren’t interested.  It’s always a good idea to leave them feeling a little happier than before you chatted.

3) Always be on time for a date and don’t keep them waiting around. If you have to be a little late then call them to apologise. A  text won’t cut it. Make sure you buy the first drink to apologise and you’ll be forgiven quickly.

4) If you go on a date and don’t want to see them, then let them know in a respectful manner.  Thank them for there time and don’t keep them waiting around for ever.

5) If you accept a drink from someone then you must accept that you need to talk to them while you drink it.  I’ve seen girls take the drink and the walk off right away which is not acceptable behaviour.

Good luck!
James Preece – The Dating Guru

www.singlesolution.com

Everyone seems to have their own matchmaking software nowadays

But how accurate are they really?

Matchmaking software aims to examine members’ core beliefs and characteristics to give them a reliable idea of the type of people they should be dating to get a long lasting relationship.   I was recently asked about my thoughts on this so I thought I’d share them here.

I believe that this sort of profiling might well be useful, but is most probably flawed due to two well know psychological effects.

Barnum Effect:  The problem with any form of test is that people are rarely honest about themselves.  The Barnum (or Forer effect) is the idea that individuals will give high accuracy ratings to descriptions of their personality that they believe are specifically for them, but are in fact general enough to apply to a variety of different people.  Sof if you give someone the results of a personality profile then they’ll choose to accept the bit they likes or overlook the ones they don’t.

Placebo Effect:  If you tell someone that they have been matched with the very latest state of the art findings then they’ll subconsciously find themselves working hard to fill in the gaps.  This may or may not be a good thing. On one hand, they’ll put more of an effort into making a relationship work.  On the other it doesn’t really matter whether your matches are real not not.

I really don’t know how accurate these tests really are.  From my experience,  the secret of successful dating is all about chemistry.  There are obviously certain things that are vital when it comes to matching.  This could be religion, race, age etc.  However , most people have relatively open mind and will surprised by who they actually really do get on with.

Please do add a comment and let me know your own thoughts on this.  Have you tried it and how did it work out for you?

Happy dating,

James Preece – The Dating Guru

www.singlesolution.com

Our Halloween Spooktaculars are legendary.

So book this year’s party. It’ll be a scream.

Over the years, our Halloween parties have gained a great reputation for being fantastic events.  They attract large crowds and we always get lots of extras to help make the event really special.

This year we’ll be at our most popular venue  – The Abbey on Saturday 29th October.  As always, we’ll be decorating it to give it the full Halloween spooky makeover.

We’ve lined up some excellent entertainment for you including the returns of Tarot Reader Hayley and DJ Titch.  We’ve also got a brand new magician for you – Mark Oldham.  Mark comes highly recommended having worked alongside our other magicians Graeme and Terry.

Fancy dress is completely optional, but we find that if you make the effort you’ll have a so much more fun!  You don’t need to hire a full blown costume but a mask or wig can make all the difference.  So many shops now sell Halloween costumes that there’s not excuse for not brining something along.  We’ll have fantastic prizes for the best outfits.

Do book up now to make sure you get a ticket as this event always sells out.

James Preece – The Dating Guru

www.singlesolution.com

Is double dating twice the fun?

Or is it double the trouble?

Many singles find themselves in this situation at some stage in their dating lives.  You and a friend both have dates lined up and you think it might be a good idea to meet them at the same time.  Surely there’s more fun in a group isn’t there?

Of course, this type of scenario comes with it’s own set of problems that you wouldn’t get on a one to one night out.

What if one of your fancies your friend’s date instead?  Who decides where to go?

On the plus side, more people means more conversation and less chance of it drying up.

The reality is that it’s only ever going to work if you are all quite similar in personality. Otherwise one person will dominate the conversation or another might be too shy and let everyone else do the talking.

I would advise you to give it a go every once in a while, just to spice your dating life up a bit.   You can get feedback from your friend after the event and see how you think each other did. They are likely to give you an honest answer and you can discuss your next step.  You never know, you might even learn a thing or two.  Just make sure you pay attention to YOUR date and don’t flirt with the other person.

Double dating can work byt don’t make a habit of it as you won’t get to know someone properly if you aren’t on your own.   You don’t need anyone else to hold your hand!

If you’ve got a funny or interesting double date story then please email it to me at   info@singlesolution.com

Happy dating!

James Preece – The Dating Guru

www.singlesolution.com

Men, would you like to increase your speed dating matches?

Here’s a quick little tip that might help.

When it comes to speed dating, women tend to be a lot fussier when it comes to working out who they connect with.  So the men come away liking more women than like them.

There was an interesting study recently carried about Psychology Today Magazine in the US.   It was all about speed dating and how women and men think about it differently.

Usually, the women are seated and the men move round every three or four minutes.  Women often have bags so it’s easier for the men to do the moving.

However, in the experiment they made the men stay put and the women walked around instead.  The results were astounding.  The women suddenly rated the men as being much more attractive.

Why did this happen?  It’s simple – it put the men in a position of power.  When the women have to do the approaching it makes them feel like they are doing the chasing.  Both men and women then respond accordingly and adapt to it, letting the man take control.  The women have to lean in and work harder to make a good first impression.  As they’ve put the effort in, they are then more likely to be open to a date.

We might test this out at a few of our upcoming singles parties.  If you take part then please let us know if you thought it worked better or not.

Happy dating!

James Preece – The Dating Guru

www.singlesolution.com