As you have no doubt noticed, we are writing more and more blogs for our members.

We’d love to know what you think and for you to get more involved.  Blogs are a discussion forum so please do take a minute to comment on anything you might find interesting.

If you have anything you’d like us to write about then please let us know.

We’d especially like to help you with any dating problems or questions that you have.  Remember we are dating experts and always happy to help!

Also, if you would like to get your own writing featured then please send it to us directly at   info@singlesolution.com

James Preece – The Dating Guru

www.singlesolution.com

I’ve already had a fantastic response to my earlier blog today, when I talked about meeting new people each day.

ChitChatBingo have sent me the results of a survey which confirms this:

Brits find romance, friends and even business partners in queues

People say we’re cold and reserved, but in fact most Brits are happy to make small talk with strangers, with around half of us indulging our chat-habit twice a week at least (49%) according to national research by ChitChat Bingo.

So friendly are we that 16 per cent of Brits have even found romance through small talk, with a third making new friends and 3 per cent even identified a business partner.

Queues were far and away the most popular place to strike up a conversation for 35 per cent of us – even more than the quarter of us who like a good natter at work.  Bars might be popular for men, 14 per cent of whom say this is the best spot to chat to strangers; but their chances of chatting up a woman are slim as only 5 per cent of them admit to chatting with strangers in bars.  The worst place to try out your lines on a stranger is a lift, which appears to be a no-go area for all but 2 per cent of us.

The research shows that young people are most likely to engage in an impromptu chat with a stranger (92% will chat up strangers at least once a week) whereas 50 per cent of the older generation love to chat in a queue.

1.    It brightens my day     56%
2.    I’ve made friends    33%
3.    None, I loathe it    17%
4.    I found romance    11%
5.    I married someone    5%
6.    I found a business partner     3%
7.    I won money!    1%

Lee Knott, head of marketing services, said “Chat is one of the great pleasures of life, but who’d have thought it was so beneficial?  It seems that the grouchy 17% who say they ‘loathe small talk’ are missing a lot.”

Research was conducted with 1,000 adults by YourSayPays and ChitChat Bingo.

James Preece – The Dating Guru

www.singlesolution.com

The Single Solution ran a very special event last night – a Medieval Banquet in Tower Hill.

Set in the atmospheric candle lit cellars  in St Katherine’s docks, our guests were invited to step back in time.

We were welcomed by jugglers, lute players and a Beefeater who made sure we were kept entertained.

Dressing up in historical costume was encouraged and a couple of our guests took this opportunity. The Single Solution’s Paul was transformed into “Sir Paul of Osbourne” with a rather fetching Royal Robe.

Endless flaggons of ale and  wine were brought to the table by serving wenches, which were enjoyed by all the guests.

The banquet itself was a feast to the eyes with such delights as cold meats, roast chicken, freshly baked bread and the finest fruit tarts.

Much fun was had while we ate and drank, including dancers, singers, sword fighters and a visit from King Henry 8th himself.

Afterwards, the cellars were transformed into a disco so everyone had the opportunity to dance and work off some of the amazing food and drink.

We always try to provide new events experiences to shake up the dating world, so keep an eye on the website to see what we have in store for you next!

James Preece – The Dating Guru

www.singlesolution.com

I often get messages asking where emails have disappeared to on the site.

Well, in order to keep things running smoothly, messages are automatically deleted after 60 days.

However, if the other person deletes the message, or deletes their profile, the the message will also disappear from your inbox/sent.

It’s worth noting that messages in bold haven’t been read yet.  This is usually because they’ve not yet logged in or aren’t able to read messages as they don’t have credits or a membership.

If you are keen to hear from them, it’s always worth sending another message “reply paid” as that might encourage them to write back!

James Preece – The Dating Guru

www.singesolution.com

Making a great, instant first impression is key to dating success.   Here are ten of our favourite openers that you can use.

Of course, if you’ve seen a better one let us know

1) Is this Ebay?  I’m up for auction – highest bidders only!

2) New girl on the block needs a tour guide

3) Can I ask you for directions?

4) Fabulous people deserve to be together, don’t you think?

5) Towns yet to be visited, friends in need yet to be discovered, battles yet to be fought…

6) I knew you wouldn’t be able to resist!

7) 94.5% of all statistics are fabricated

8)  This is really just shopping for guys – two of my favourite things combined!

9) Experimental cook needs food taster

10) Where’s “Clever Opening Lines for Dummies” When You Need It?

James Preece – The Dating Guru

www.singlesolution.com

We often hear the myth about how the online dating world is full of liars, each trying to make themselves sound better than then really are.  However, this certainly isn’t the case at all. According to a new survey by Kansas university, researchers have found that most people are honest, especially the confident ones.

The study also showed that both men and women were equal in terms of the few who did tell fibs.  Men lied about sexual partners  and women lied about their weight.

According to the study,  members  of the online dating site were no more or less likely to lie about themselves than people who find dates the old fashioned way through work, recreation or via friends.

If someone is confident and successful then they don’t need to make things up.  It was only the people who were unhappy about their life choices who steered away from the truth.

5000 Internet daters were apparently interviewed for this research…..but that could have been a lie.

Eli Finkel,  associate professor of social psychology at Northwestern University , said the study results came as little surprise:

“These findings lend empirical validation to my longstanding assumption that the typical person using modern dating approaches doesn’t differ much from the typical person using traditional dating approaches,” he said.

“There was probably a time when people using dating services were different in important ways from the general dating population,” added Finkel, “but that seems to be less and less true as modern dating approaches become increasingly popular. Online daters, speed-daters, and the like seem to be just like the rest of us in most ways. That this intuition extends to truth-telling among online daters is important validation of that general point.”

From our own experience, the biggest lie people seem to tell is about age.  It can seem easy to shave a year or two off in the hope of netting someone more useful.  Just remember that one day you’ll have to admit the truth and it could instantly ruin any trust you’ve built.  It’s better to be honest from the outset so you don’t need to keep worrying about being found out.

James Preece – The Dating Guru

www.singlesolution.com

There’s a well known saying that you’ll find love when you stop trying and don’t expect it.   People say that if you just forget about finding someone then they’ll find you anyway.

So should you stop looking?

My advice is absolutely not!  While I do believe it’s true to a certain extent, it’s also a fantastic excuse to do refuse responsibility.  If you are a happy, positive frame of mind and ready for love then it will come your way. The big secret is that you do have to give it a helping hand.

If you want to get something in life, whether it’s love, money, a new job or even a holiday then you need to take action.   For example, if you’d like a new job then you’d polish up your CV, send it out to prospective employees and attend some interviews.   You just wouldn’t sit back, do nothing and wait for one to find you.  Event if one magically does then you can guarantee it won’t be the best one you could possibly dream of.

So what should you do?  Well as well as the obvious things like going out on dates, why not try and do more for yourself.   Use your spare time to go out and get a new haircut, hit the gym or buy some new outfits.  Take the chance to sign up to learn some new skills, such as dancing or cooking. They will all help you feel and look amazing, which will therefore make it easier to meet someone wonderful.  If you enjoy your life and enjoy being who are then others will naturally want to share it with you.

The bottom line is this: Love will find you in the end but you need to help it along the way by being open and ready for it!

Good luck,

James Preece – The Dating Guru

www.singlesolution.com

Hi! Let me introduce myself……I’m Louise Gillespie-Smith and I have been a personal stylist for just over 6 years, my company is called Create Yourself. The main thing I love about my job is helping people accept themselves for who they are and to really make the most of themselves through how they dress, plus of course I really love the shopping! I often get asked about what is best to wear when going on first dates so James has invited me to write you all a little something to help you really knock your date’s socks off!!

Following are my top 5 tips on how to look your most attractive and most fabulous:

1)      Take some time to prepare: If you want to be looking your best pamper yourself a bit before the date, make sure you smell nice, enjoy the process of getting ready and get a good night’s sleep beforehand to ensure you are not turning up hung-over and yawning to death. Men make sure you have cleaned your teeth…..I know I don’t need to say this to women as they know the importance of not showing up with bad breath!!

2)      Be yourself: With studies showing that image and body language is 55% of what matters most in first impressions it is really important to be feeling comfortable in what you are wearing, confident that you look your best and that you are conveying the real you. Until we really know someone we can only judge them by how they come across and a big part of that is through their image. There is no point trying to be something you are not, if they don’t like you for who you really are then they are not worth it anyway! There are all sorts of ways of doing this by using colours, styles, accessories and make up. Have a think about your key personality traits that you would like someone to know about you and then take some time to consider how you can express this through what you wear.

3) Make an effort but don’t go over the top: You need to get the balance between making an effort and feeling comfortable. It’s important to feel comfortable so you are not distracted by hurting feet, pulling skirts or tops down but at the same time you want to look like you have made an effort, heels are always a winner for dates as they lengthen and slim your figure, plus wearing them gives you that extra boost of confidence and sexiness. However don’t go for totally over the top ones that will cripple you in seconds.  If heels just are not you though then don’t wear them, the most important thing as I said above is to be yourself.

4) Wear the right colours: The right colours, especially close to your face can really make you look vibrant, healthy and even younger! The wrong colours can drain you, make you look ill and highlight any redness or lines on the face. The most flattering colours for you share the same characteristics as your own natural colouring so for example if you have dark hair then deep colours will suit you more than very pale ones. Or if you have a golden undertone to your skin then colours with a yellow base will look fantastic where as blue based colours will drain the warmth away from you.

5)      Enhance your best bits: take some time to consider what your best bits are for example are they your; eyes, your bust, your bum, your legs, your stomach etc? Then think how you can show that off. It’s a waste of time and energy worrying about the bit’s you don’t like (plus it won’t make you feel very good about yourself) instead focus on how to enhance the great bits about you.

Please do feel free to email me if you have any specific questions about what to wear or what not to!! louise@createyourself.co.uk

http://createyourself.co.uk/

Sometimes we need every little bit of help we can possibly get when it comes to dating.  This can mean seeking advice from every possible source, no matter how weird or wacky it can be.   For example, there are many people who do believe in star signs. We once had a lady who rang up and asked how many “Librans” we had on the database.  She’d only consider dating them as she’d been told they were compatible with her own.

So just as a bit of fun, we’ve researched which star signs come out best when it comes to dating.

Pisces (February 20 – March 21) Empathetic, openhearted and intuitive

Aries (March 21 – April 20) Their fiery nature makes them extremely irresistible and exciting.

Taurus (April 21 – May 21) Sensual person who craves physical affection and affection. Only the best will do.

Gemini (May 22 – June 22) These are the best to talk to

Cancer (June 23 – July 23) Deeply emotional and family orientated

Leo (July 23 – August 23) Love to be the centre of attention

Virgo (August 23 – September 23) They love to help others and put them first

Libra (September 23 – October 23) Librans can be the most romantic people

Scorpio (October 24 – November 22) Can be emotionally perceptive and intuitive

Sagittarius (November 23 – December 21) Impulsive and adventurous

Capricorn (December 22 – January 20): The most dependable

Aquarius (January 20 – February 19) Aquarians are the most friendly of all the star signs

Do these fit in with your dating experiences?

James Preece – The Dating Guru

www.singlesolution.com

I’ve had a lot of emails about my blog post on the top things never to say on a first date.   A lot of people have told me about other very strange things people have said to them but there’s one thing that crops up scarily often.   I’ve heard this so many times that I wanted to share it with you.  If it’s happened to you too then let me know!

It’s what I call the “empty wallet” story…

To summarise, it goes like this.  The man invites the lady out on a date – perhaps for some drinks or a meal.  They get on well and at the end of the evening the bill arrives.  The man goes to open his wallet only to be stunned that he’s somehow left all his money ( and credit cards!) behind.

“Oh dear,” he says, ” I seem to have come out without any cash.  Would you mind paying now and I’ll get it next time?”

As if there would even be a next time. I’ve even heard a version of this where the man has ordered the most expensive items from the menu and the lady has just had salad and  a mineral water.  Another lady did foolishly agree to cough up and arranged another restaurant date only for him to try exactly the same trick again!

Men, this is absolutely not cool or funny.  This can’t be an accident and nobody goes out without any money.  Your main job on a date is to make the best first impression you possibly can.  If you refuse to pay then it makes you look mean, tight fisted and downright rude.   On top of this it will make you look incredibly stupid and you’ll undo any good work you might have made during the date.

So the bottom line is bring enough money to cover the date and act like a gentleman.

Of course it’s not just men who do this.  Many women expect the men to pay and will “forget” to bring money with them as a test.  Again, this is wrong. While the man should generally always pay on the first date, the woman should at least offer.

James Preece – The Dating Guru

www.singlesolution.com