We often hear the myth about how the online dating world is full of liars, each trying to make themselves sound better than then really are.  However, this certainly isn’t the case at all. According to a new survey by Kansas university, researchers have found that most people are honest, especially the confident ones.

The study also showed that both men and women were equal in terms of the few who did tell fibs.  Men lied about sexual partners  and women lied about their weight.

According to the study,  members  of the online dating site were no more or less likely to lie about themselves than people who find dates the old fashioned way through work, recreation or via friends.

If someone is confident and successful then they don’t need to make things up.  It was only the people who were unhappy about their life choices who steered away from the truth.

5000 Internet daters were apparently interviewed for this research…..but that could have been a lie.

Eli Finkel,  associate professor of social psychology at Northwestern University , said the study results came as little surprise:

“These findings lend empirical validation to my longstanding assumption that the typical person using modern dating approaches doesn’t differ much from the typical person using traditional dating approaches,” he said.

“There was probably a time when people using dating services were different in important ways from the general dating population,” added Finkel, “but that seems to be less and less true as modern dating approaches become increasingly popular. Online daters, speed-daters, and the like seem to be just like the rest of us in most ways. That this intuition extends to truth-telling among online daters is important validation of that general point.”

From our own experience, the biggest lie people seem to tell is about age.  It can seem easy to shave a year or two off in the hope of netting someone more useful.  Just remember that one day you’ll have to admit the truth and it could instantly ruin any trust you’ve built.  It’s better to be honest from the outset so you don’t need to keep worrying about being found out.

James Preece – The Dating Guru

www.singlesolution.com

There’s a well known saying that you’ll find love when you stop trying and don’t expect it.   People say that if you just forget about finding someone then they’ll find you anyway.

So should you stop looking?

My advice is absolutely not!  While I do believe it’s true to a certain extent, it’s also a fantastic excuse to do refuse responsibility.  If you are a happy, positive frame of mind and ready for love then it will come your way. The big secret is that you do have to give it a helping hand.

If you want to get something in life, whether it’s love, money, a new job or even a holiday then you need to take action.   For example, if you’d like a new job then you’d polish up your CV, send it out to prospective employees and attend some interviews.   You just wouldn’t sit back, do nothing and wait for one to find you.  Event if one magically does then you can guarantee it won’t be the best one you could possibly dream of.

So what should you do?  Well as well as the obvious things like going out on dates, why not try and do more for yourself.   Use your spare time to go out and get a new haircut, hit the gym or buy some new outfits.  Take the chance to sign up to learn some new skills, such as dancing or cooking. They will all help you feel and look amazing, which will therefore make it easier to meet someone wonderful.  If you enjoy your life and enjoy being who are then others will naturally want to share it with you.

The bottom line is this: Love will find you in the end but you need to help it along the way by being open and ready for it!

Good luck,

James Preece – The Dating Guru

www.singlesolution.com

Hi! Let me introduce myself……I’m Louise Gillespie-Smith and I have been a personal stylist for just over 6 years, my company is called Create Yourself. The main thing I love about my job is helping people accept themselves for who they are and to really make the most of themselves through how they dress, plus of course I really love the shopping! I often get asked about what is best to wear when going on first dates so James has invited me to write you all a little something to help you really knock your date’s socks off!!

Following are my top 5 tips on how to look your most attractive and most fabulous:

1)      Take some time to prepare: If you want to be looking your best pamper yourself a bit before the date, make sure you smell nice, enjoy the process of getting ready and get a good night’s sleep beforehand to ensure you are not turning up hung-over and yawning to death. Men make sure you have cleaned your teeth…..I know I don’t need to say this to women as they know the importance of not showing up with bad breath!!

2)      Be yourself: With studies showing that image and body language is 55% of what matters most in first impressions it is really important to be feeling comfortable in what you are wearing, confident that you look your best and that you are conveying the real you. Until we really know someone we can only judge them by how they come across and a big part of that is through their image. There is no point trying to be something you are not, if they don’t like you for who you really are then they are not worth it anyway! There are all sorts of ways of doing this by using colours, styles, accessories and make up. Have a think about your key personality traits that you would like someone to know about you and then take some time to consider how you can express this through what you wear.

3) Make an effort but don’t go over the top: You need to get the balance between making an effort and feeling comfortable. It’s important to feel comfortable so you are not distracted by hurting feet, pulling skirts or tops down but at the same time you want to look like you have made an effort, heels are always a winner for dates as they lengthen and slim your figure, plus wearing them gives you that extra boost of confidence and sexiness. However don’t go for totally over the top ones that will cripple you in seconds.  If heels just are not you though then don’t wear them, the most important thing as I said above is to be yourself.

4) Wear the right colours: The right colours, especially close to your face can really make you look vibrant, healthy and even younger! The wrong colours can drain you, make you look ill and highlight any redness or lines on the face. The most flattering colours for you share the same characteristics as your own natural colouring so for example if you have dark hair then deep colours will suit you more than very pale ones. Or if you have a golden undertone to your skin then colours with a yellow base will look fantastic where as blue based colours will drain the warmth away from you.

5)      Enhance your best bits: take some time to consider what your best bits are for example are they your; eyes, your bust, your bum, your legs, your stomach etc? Then think how you can show that off. It’s a waste of time and energy worrying about the bit’s you don’t like (plus it won’t make you feel very good about yourself) instead focus on how to enhance the great bits about you.

Please do feel free to email me if you have any specific questions about what to wear or what not to!! louise@createyourself.co.uk

http://createyourself.co.uk/

Sometimes we need every little bit of help we can possibly get when it comes to dating.  This can mean seeking advice from every possible source, no matter how weird or wacky it can be.   For example, there are many people who do believe in star signs. We once had a lady who rang up and asked how many “Librans” we had on the database.  She’d only consider dating them as she’d been told they were compatible with her own.

So just as a bit of fun, we’ve researched which star signs come out best when it comes to dating.

Pisces (February 20 – March 21) Empathetic, openhearted and intuitive

Aries (March 21 – April 20) Their fiery nature makes them extremely irresistible and exciting.

Taurus (April 21 – May 21) Sensual person who craves physical affection and affection. Only the best will do.

Gemini (May 22 – June 22) These are the best to talk to

Cancer (June 23 – July 23) Deeply emotional and family orientated

Leo (July 23 – August 23) Love to be the centre of attention

Virgo (August 23 – September 23) They love to help others and put them first

Libra (September 23 – October 23) Librans can be the most romantic people

Scorpio (October 24 – November 22) Can be emotionally perceptive and intuitive

Sagittarius (November 23 – December 21) Impulsive and adventurous

Capricorn (December 22 – January 20): The most dependable

Aquarius (January 20 – February 19) Aquarians are the most friendly of all the star signs

Do these fit in with your dating experiences?

James Preece – The Dating Guru

www.singlesolution.com

I’ve had a lot of emails about my blog post on the top things never to say on a first date.   A lot of people have told me about other very strange things people have said to them but there’s one thing that crops up scarily often.   I’ve heard this so many times that I wanted to share it with you.  If it’s happened to you too then let me know!

It’s what I call the “empty wallet” story…

To summarise, it goes like this.  The man invites the lady out on a date – perhaps for some drinks or a meal.  They get on well and at the end of the evening the bill arrives.  The man goes to open his wallet only to be stunned that he’s somehow left all his money ( and credit cards!) behind.

“Oh dear,” he says, ” I seem to have come out without any cash.  Would you mind paying now and I’ll get it next time?”

As if there would even be a next time. I’ve even heard a version of this where the man has ordered the most expensive items from the menu and the lady has just had salad and  a mineral water.  Another lady did foolishly agree to cough up and arranged another restaurant date only for him to try exactly the same trick again!

Men, this is absolutely not cool or funny.  This can’t be an accident and nobody goes out without any money.  Your main job on a date is to make the best first impression you possibly can.  If you refuse to pay then it makes you look mean, tight fisted and downright rude.   On top of this it will make you look incredibly stupid and you’ll undo any good work you might have made during the date.

So the bottom line is bring enough money to cover the date and act like a gentleman.

Of course it’s not just men who do this.  Many women expect the men to pay and will “forget” to bring money with them as a test.  Again, this is wrong. While the man should generally always pay on the first date, the woman should at least offer.

James Preece – The Dating Guru

www.singlesolution.com

We’ve put together a list of the ten things you should never talk about on a date;

1) You remind me of my Dad/ Mum
2) My psychic told me we’re going get married
3) Can I borrow some money?
4) I really don’t like this restaurant that much, but I wanted to use this 2-for-1 coupon before it expired
5) I used to come here all the time with my ex
6) I won’t drink much tonight because I get horny
7) Excuse me a minute. My cat gets lonely if he doesn’t hear my voice on the answering machine every hour
It’s sad, but I’ve come to accept that I’m never going to meet someone as clever as me.
9) I’ll try being nicer if you’ll try being better looking.
10) Are you going to change your Facebook status to “in a relationship” now?

If you’ve heard a worse one, email us at info@singlesolution.com.  There will be a prize for the best ones.

While these are all to be taken with a pinch of salt, there is one thing that you genuinely should never ever talk about on a date – your ex.  You’d be amazed how many think this is an acceptable subject to bring up in conversation.  Rather than focus on your past,  spend the time talking about yourself and your date.  Find out what you have in common and use the opportunity to get to know each other.  Your relationship with your ex is over but you have the chance to start something new, so make them feel like they are the important ones now.
Happy dating,

James Preece – The Dating Guru

www.singlesolution.com

With the popularity of online social websites such as Facebook, Myspace and Twitter, flirting can take on a whole new dimension.  They offer exciting new opportunities to meet new partners and chat up new love interests. I’m going to write an article soon about how to flirt and meet new people via these avenues, but for now I’m going to talk about online fidelity.

Just this week,  married celebrities like Vernon Kay and Ashley Cole have been caught “virtually cheating” online with other women. They’vetexted sexual images back and forth, thinking it to be safe ground.

If you are seeing someone, what are the rules when it comes to using these sites?  Is it ever ok to flirt with complete strangers you’ll never meet, or add your exes?

Social networking sites can be addictive, especially if you’ve got something lacking in the real world.  It’s easy to get caught up in the fantasy environment and flirt with exes or new people. It feels completely safe and something nobody every need know about. People love an ego boost, so if a hot girl or guy tries to get in touch it can be very tempting to continue.  It connects you to those you otherwise wouldn’t meet or renew friendships with people you weren’t too concerned about.

The thing is, many people still see it as  cheating, even if it’s just emotionally. Instead on focussing on your relationship and making your partner happy, you are giving attention and energy to other people instead.

J.M. Kearns, author of ‘Better Love Next Time says: ” “Social Networking sites are a neutral tool that can be used for innocent or guilty purposes. If they are  talking to an ex through the public forums, they may just be keeping in touch.” But if they are only using the site’s private forums, that could be a different story.  If this is becoming an issue then you need to start setting the boundaries.”

I’d advise that you if you find yourself entering risky territory then take a step back.  If you are in a relationship then it’s neverok to take things beyond friendship with anyone else.  How would you feel if you found out your partner was doing it?  If you have to can’t stop then you need to work out what’s missing from your relationship.

Of course, if you are single then flirt away!

James Preece – The Dating Guru

www.singlesolution.com

Once again we had our biggest and best parties of the year for Valentine’s day.

We had two Moorgate venues for this party – the younger one at The Cuban Bar and the mid 30s to late 40s party at Digress City.

At Digress City we had over 250 guests.  The welcome wine went down well as did the Tarot Reader who was booked up very quickly.

Later in the evening, most people joined the fun at the Cuban Bar for the afterparty. The stars of the show were the ever popular “Bluejacks”, the Single Solution resident covers band.

We saw quite a few matches at the parties so if Cupid sent you a little arrow we’d love to hear all about it!

The year has only just started and we’ve got many more exciting events lined up and are planning some very special evenings for you.

James – The Dating Guru

www.singlesolution.com

As dating experts, we’ve heard every pickup line in the book.  Here are a selection of the very worst!

1)  Can I buy you a drink so I look better?

2) Are you related to Jean-Claude Van Damme? Because Jean-Claude Van Damme you’re sexy!

3) I’d marry your cat to get in the family.

4) Can I borrow your library card? I want to check you out.

5) You know, sweetie, my lips won’t just kiss themselves..

6) Baby, you must be a broom, cause you just swept me off my feet.

7) Hey, I’m new in town. Can I get directions to your house?

I was wondering if you had an extra heart mine seems to have been stolen.

9) Do you have any raisins? No? How about a date?

10) You know what? Your eyes are the same color as my Porsche.

Do you know an even worse pickup line?  Email us  at pickup@singlesolution.com and we’ll list the best ones here!

James Preece – The Dating Guru

www.singlesolution.com

With this freezing weather, lack of money and , it can be easy to see why this can be the most depressing time of the year! If you aren’t in a fantastic mood, this can play havoc with your dating life .

Here are my five top tips to feel happier – instantly!

1) Appreciate what you have. If you take a while to reflect, you’ll soon realise you have so many wonderful things in your life. This can include things like great friends, family, good health for example.

2) Make a list of what you have to look forward to. This can be big things, such as holidays, parties or even a pay rise . Your can also list small things that will still cheer you up. This can be a coffee break, favourite television show or cooking a nice meal. If there aren’t enough things on your list then start planning!

By doing this you will be able to start living in the present moment. Many of us worry about what the future holds, so make sure you’ve prepared as many positive things as possible.

3) Play some music. Uplifting, happy tunes can stimulate the creative areas of your brain, providing an instant mood lift. Just make sure the music is upbeat – nothing sad or too slow!

4) Go for a walk. Your physiology determines your emotions so if you start to energise yourself your blood will flow more and you’ll feel much happier very quickly. For double the effect, why not combine this with tip 3 by plugging in your Ipod and strolling through the park?

5) Smile! You might need to fake it at first, but you’ll notice that you can’t help but feel better when you smile. It’s a natural body response. As an added bonus, if you smile at people it makes them feel better about themselves and you’ll find many smile back, boosting your happiness even more!

James Preece – Confidence Coach
www.singlesolution.com