We have so many lovely members and want you to have fun meeting them.

However, every now and again we find someone not playing by the rules.

This is true on all dating sites and in every aspect of life, but that doesn’t mean we don’t take it seriously.

We really do have to rely on you, our customers, to let us know when someone isn’t behaving on the site.

You are our eyes and ears.   While we can monitor messages on our site, it’s out of our hands once you decide to talk on the phone or go on dates.

As you are the ones dating, you are the ones who need to tip us off if you have a bad experience. We don’t tolerate rudeness or offensive behaviour from any of our members and we expect everyone to be respectful and considerate.

If you have a bad experience, please don’t let if put you off.   There are 1000s and 1000s of decent people on our website and we’d hate you to miss out on meeting them.

Don’t judge them by the poor behaviour of one individual.

Every day we get wonderful feedbacks which show that our members are not only genuine but meeting partners through our website.

We are NOT a casual dating site, but one that helps bring people together for serious, quality relationships.

So please do let us know if you come across one rotten apple.  If they have posted something inappropriate in their profile or aren’t what they seem in real life then we need to know about it. We’ll always suspend ( and ban if necessary) unsuitable people on our sites,  especially if we have several complaints.

All you need to do is let us know!

James Preece – The Dating Guru

www.singlesolution.com

In today’s blog I’m be talking about the enigma of the Alpha Male.

So what IS an Alpha Male?

This term is usually used to refer to a man who is powerful or in a high social position

In nature, attraction between mates is determined by the survival of the fittest philosophy. The mate that is chosen is the one that is most likely to breed strong, healthy offspring. In many animal societies the alpha male will be the only male in the pack, and it will be his job to impregnate the females in order for the species to survive.

So in dating, the alpha tends to be the one who gets all the women!

However, contrary to popular belief, this isn’t through being rude, arrogant, macho or cocky. Instead, here are the five best ways you can learn to become and Alpha Male:

1) Be Confident. This is the number quality that a woman will look for in a man so it’s the key thing all Alpha Men possess. Be relaxed and comfortable in your surroundings. It always help to dress up whenever you go out as it gives the impression you are high status and sure of yourself.

2) Be Masculine. Show off your muscles, achievements, or skills to get people to think of you as dominant. Know who you are and never be afraid to express your true personality. An Alpha man Doesn’t fear doesnt’ care what other think of him or of being judged.

3) Take the lead. As an Alpha Male, you need to take control. In fact, most women expect it as they they want to be looked after. For example, don’t ask where they would like to go on a date – but surprise them instead.

4) Know what you are worth. Respect yourself. you value yourself as equal to or above everyone else including any girl you approach. You need women to realise that you have a lot more to offer than other men and they need to be the ones to impress you.

5) Don’t be too serious. As always, dating is about fun. You need to demonstrate that you have a good, almost cheeky sense of humour.

If you’d like to know more about becoming an Alpha Male, I recommend this fantastic guide:

Good luck!

James Preece – The Dating Guru

www.singlesolution.com

Before you begin searching for people to date, there is very important thing you need to do.

You need to get yourself into the right state of mind!

Many people have unresolved issues from the past.  This can make your wary of starting new relationships.  So my advice is to leave the past where it is  and concentrate on the future instead.  The events in your past made you the person you are today and you should always be proud of that.

It’s not just the past that can stop you from succeeding but also self-sabotaging your love life but staying in an unhappy relationship.  This is usually because you enjoy the ego boost or would rather be with “anyone” than be alone.

For example, perhaps you are seeing someone who isn’t ready to commit to the relationship.  If you something more
long term and defined then you should work out if they will ever change their minds.  If not, you should end things
immediately and not waste any more time on them. The same goes for any negative aspect of a relationship, whether
it’s cheating, verbal abuse or laziness .  End it right now. They are simply holding you back from being completely happy.

You will never meet Mr or Miss Right if you aren’t ready to give them 100% of your love, time or attention.

So get rid of any baggage, get shot of your fears and open yourself up to the wonderful new possibilities that will arise.

They are waiting for you – you just have to be ready to accept them into your life.

Happy dating!

James Preece – The Dating Guru

www.singlesolution.com

Want to be able to spot a liar?

We’ll teach you how in today’s blog.

It’s often useful to be able to spot when someone is lying especially when it comes to dating.  A few small fibs are natural but some people have something to hide and lie to disguise it.    Here are our tips on how to spot the signs they arent being honest with you.

1) Liars will play with try to  put an ostruction between themselves and the other person as subconscious way of attempting to build up a defence.  So watch out if they start moving wine glasses, cups or salt shakers around the table.

2) Adrenalin rushes through the body when people are fibbing, which can mean they blink a lot more and their eyes dilate.

3) A genuine smile involves the slight crinkling of eyes and only lasts for less than five seconds. A fake smile doesn’t involve the eyes at at all and can go on much longer.  They may also look a little more “glassy eyed” as if they are trying to stare right through you.

4) Watch out for their facial expressions and see if they match what they are saying, as they are hard to hide.  For example,  are they saying they are excited and happy, but their face is unsmiling and serious?

5)  Listen very carefully. Liars will tend to overcomplicate their stories and specify every little detail.

They do this so they won’t be asked too many questions after.   Listen out for exact timings and place names that most people would gloss over.

The same rules apply for spotting lies as for any other body language – you need to look for several signs together to be certain.

We all scratch our noses or shuffle our feet, so don’t be too quick to judge!

Happy dating,

James Preece – The Dating Guru

www.singlesolution.com

Everyone knows that first impressions are hard to change, so today’s blog is about one of the best ways to make a good one.

Dressing to Impress.

We pride ourselves at the Single Solution on having the very best, most professional members.   That’s why we insist that everyone makes an effort when attending our events.  You need to be aware of the messages that you are sending out from your clothing choices. A few small changes  can dramatically increase your dating success.

By dressing well, you’ll not only look better but will feel more attractive too.

So what does “smart casual” actually mean?

Well it’s quite simple really.  Just wear something comfortable that is somewhere between smart, that you might wear to work or to a wedding, and casual pub gear.

The idea is to get noticed and so if you lean towards glamorous, that is fine too and  it’s unlikely that you can over dress as long as you feel comfortable. What we don’t recommend are  tuxedos and ball gowns. We do insist that our guests don’t wear trainers, t-shirts or shorts.

Always wear things that show your best features and hide your worst!

Guide for Men

For men this might mean, cords, smart non-blue jeans or chinos and casual shirt with a collar but no tie. A jacket is a bonus and may help compensate for blue jeans. Shoe choice is important. Brogues, slip ons or off-black colours such as brown would be perfect but black is fine too. Big no-nos would be trainers, collarless t-shirts,  tracksuits. Anything with a slogan on would be considered too casual. Suit and tie is great if you feel comfortable, but the tie is probably not needed. To ensure you look like you made an effort all clothes should of course be clean and pressed.

Guide for Women

For ladies there is a little more flexibility as ladies have the option to wear less to look sexy, whereas for men, this just isn’t an option. For example if you have the figure for it you’ll look great in a cocktail dress and heels. Most people might opt for a more conservative look with Smart slacks or skirt and blouse. Non-blue jeans are fine but blue jeans are not ideal unless you offset with smart shoes and top. No-nos would be trainers, sports wear or baggy tops with slogans.

These rules apply for our singles parties but also are very important when going out on dates too.  Studies have shown that 70% of singles would chose not to see someone again if they dressed badly on a first date.

We hate turning guests away from events, especially once they’ve already booked and turned up at the venue. So make sure you follow the guidelines here.

These are also the conditions of many of our venues too, which might be smart bars, hotels or restaurants.

Happy dating,

James Preece – The Dating Guru

www.singlesolution.com

Is something hold you back from you getting success at dating?

We take a look the ways some people can sabotage themselves on a date and how they can fix this.

First of all,  you need to work out what exactly you are doing wrong.  Then it can be easy enough to put things right.

This can usually fall in to one of three things:

Too Needy,  Too Negative or Too Picky

1)Too Needy

You are so desperate to get a partner that you accept anyone who shows any interest.  You go out on dates purely for the sake of dating and often end up sleeping with anyone who pays you any attention.  You get upset and angry when you don’t hear back from the straight away and ruin possible relationships by being too keen or demanding.

Sometimes you think that this person will be able to fix your life or you’ll overlook major issues thinking that you can change them yourself.

The Cure:  Take a step back.  If you need to, have a break from dating and only ever date someone you think you really will have a great future with.

2)Too Negative

You’ve had some bad experiences in the past and don’t want to  let yourself get hurt again.  Therefore you focus on your past rather than looking to your future.

Your date doesn’t want to hear about how bad your life is or hear about your faults and insecurities.

The Cure:   Challenge yourself to be positive.  Wear something that you feel great in and keep your body language upbeat and friendly. Work out all the things in life that you enjoy and that are going well for you.   Everyone is different so don’t expect them to treat you the same as your ex.

3) Too Picky

Nobody is able to meet your high standards and as such you won’t give anyone a chance.  You’ll come across as rude and defensive rather than a possible partner.  Perhaps you won’t make the effort on a date as you’ve already decided it’s not going to go anywhere before you’ve even met.

The Cure:    Take the opportunity to find out more about your date.   What do you have in common?  Are you enjoying their company?  Above all, work out what really is important to you and let anything else go.  You aren’t perfect so why would they be?

Good luck!
James Preece – The Dating Guru

www.singlesolution.com

Sometimes life can get us down and we don’t feel things are going are way.

This can mean you aren’t in the mood for dating. So in today’s blog I’m going to give you some quick tips for instant happiness.

1) Try and give meaning to every day.  If you make one thing happen, no matter how small, you’ve made that day a success.

2) Work out what you have to look forward to.  Make a list of everything good you have coming up, no matter how small.   This could be a holiday, coffee with a friend or your favourite show on television.

3) Money isn’t everything.  The most important asset you have is your friends.   If you have lots of friends then you’ll have a large support group who value and appreciate you.  This is something no amount of money can buy.

4) Find a distraction.  Do something to take your mind off things. If it’s something you enjoy then you’ll soon cheer up.

5)  Talk to someone.   If you can explain to someone why you are unhappy you’ll be able to

6) Spend time with children.  Look after a relative or a  friend’s child for a day .  Children have a way of lighting up the world so you won’t be able to feel down.

7) Reflect on past glories.  Remember all the good times and it will lift your mood.  Remember that you’ve already overcome every single difficulty you’ve ever had.

8 ) Believe in yourself.  If you don’t then how can you expect anyone else to?

9) Sleep on it.  You’ll feel much happier when you are well rested.  Also,  it gives your subconscious mind the chance to work out to solutions to any problems you might face.

10) Try something new.  Step out of our comfort zone, break your usual routine and open yourself up to endless new opportunities!

Good luck!

James Preece – The Dating Guru

www.singlesolution.com

I often write about what to do,  what to say and how to act on a first date.

But what happens after that?

In this blog I shall be writing about the very special second date.

OK, so everything went well for your first meeting.  You made a great connection and have already  both decided you want to see more of each other.  You clearly both worked hard to create a good first impression so don’t blow it now!

You won’t be as nervous this time, but you will still be keen to see if the spark is still there.  Most people don’t show the real “them” until the second or third date so you might still be in s for a few surprises.

Here are some quick tips to make sure you meet up again:

1)  Location, Location, Location.   If you met for a coffee or a few drinks before, then this is a great time to go for a meal together.  Stay clear of theatre and movies for this one as you’ll want to keep up the conversation. Use the opportunity to find out more about each other.

2) Relax.  Let your guard down a little, smile often and don’t worry aboout things too much.  Don’t feel you have to rush into things too quickly.

3) Make the effort.   Try and go the extra mile and look even better than you did the first time you met.  They will probably have a strong memory of you the first time and their imagination can build you up even further.  So dress as well as you can, brush your hair and be even more flirtatious.

4) Plan the next date.   Do this gently and try not to scare them off by being too keen.  You DO need to make your intentions clear if you want to meet again as the third date can often be the “decider” date.  This is when you both decide you want to take things more seriously and perhaps exclusively.  Therefore try and talk about activities you can do together or places you can go – setting a time in your diaries there and then.

5)  Go in for a kiss.    It’s make or break time – if you like them then you need to go for it.  If you don’t then they’ll assume you aren’t interested and only ever be friends.  If you try and fail, you’ve not lost anything anyway!

Good luck!

James Preece – The Dating Guru

www.singlesolution.com

Summer is here and the sun is shining.  It’s the best time of year for dating so you need to make the most of it – it won’t last long!

Here are some great date ideas we know you’ll love:

1)Take a trip to the seaside.   If you have an Oyster Card then you can get return train tickets for an amazing £5 return until the end of July!  You can choose from Brighton, Bognor Regis or Southend.  Check out the Daysoutguide for more info.

2) Hampton Court Palace.  This is most famous for it’s huge outdoor maze.   Stay close together and have fun trying to get out.  You’ll be amazed at how much you enjoy it!

3) Boating. Both Regents Park and Hyde Park have famous boating lakes.  You can hire a small rowing boat and take your date out for a leisurely afternoon on the lakes. If you really can’t be bothered then there are plenty of boats trips available near the Thames.

4) London Zoo.  This really does make a wonderful date as there is so much to see and talk about.  Everyone has a favourite animal so why not sponsor one for your date while you are there?

5) Picnic in the Park.  This isn’t a new idea but it’s still of the best as it’s so easy to do.  Just pack a picnic basket and head somewhere romantic. Make sure you pack strawberries, cream and champagne to make it unforgettable.

6) A show under the Stars.  There are plenty of big music concerts and films at this time of year, all outside.   We particularly recommend the Regent’s Park Open Air Theatre.

7)  Watch the Sun set.   Take full advantage of one of nature’s loveliest views – the sun setting.   You can either do this from the top of a hill or a roof terrace restaurant.  The choice is yours.

Ice Cream Parlour.  We all loved this when we were kids so you can bring back happy memories instantly.  Harrods and Selfridges have their own parlours but there are plenty of independent ones too. Just remember – you’ll need one dessert and two straws!

James Preece – The Dating Guru

www.singlesolution.com

Here’s a tip for all you single guys that should help you get more dates.

Apparently all you need to do is crank up your stereo when you are on the phone!

This test was set up by the Psychology of Music Journal in France. Researchers played a love song in the background when a single man asked a selection of girls out.

A whopping 52% of these women agreed to go out with this perfectly average man.  When the researchers played a neutral tone then the success rate fell to just 30%.

The song chosen was “Je ‘aime a mourir” (I love her until I die) which is a well-known love song by French songwriter Francis Cabrel.

The theory is that romantic music can affect your internal state and put you in the mood for love.  Of course, further research is needed to prove this to be true, but there’s no harm in trying it out as men often need all the help they can get!

So ladies, I ask you this:  What love song do you like best?   Which one would start getting thinking romantic thoughts?

Please post your favourite songs as comments on the end of this blog.  It would be really interesting to find out!

Happy Dating,

James Preece – The Dating Guru

www.singlesolution.com