If you want to get noticed you need to be different.

But  does your photo help you stand out for the right reasons?

We always tell you how important having a good photo is when it comes to online dating. But there are still many people who think they know best.

We’ve seen all sorts of weird and wonderful photographs over the years and as the dating experts we knew what works and what doesn’t. Your photos is your calling card and advert that you use to market yourself. If you get it wrong it can be doing you more harm than good.

Please follow our guidelines – no sunglasses, cars, hidden faces. We also don’t allow group shots. Online dating is all about you, so don’t draw attention to anyone else.

Some people like to show themselves with a drink in hand, to give the impression they are a fun, party person. However, this can be interpreted as you having a drinking problem. Not a great asset on a dating site.

THE most important thing is to remember to smile. If you look moody or aren’t looking at the camera then you won’t connect with the viewer. If you look like a happy, positive person then you’ll get much more interest.
Of course, if you don’t event have a photograph then you are wasting your time anyway. If you don’t put one on then nobody will find or contact you, yet alone reply to your emails, Instead they’ll just think you have something to hide.

So go and add some great photos now…just remember what they might be saying about you.

Good luck!
James Preece – The Dating Guru

www.singlesinglesolution.com

Believe it or not, but we are already over halfway into the year.

Have you achieved everything you planned?

We all start the year with big dreams and ambitions. We set ourselves goals – perhaps to find a partner or get more dates.

However, life gets in the way and you get distracted with other things.  Before you know it time has ticked by and you’re still on  your own.  So do you give up, get frustrated and accept the fact you’ll never meet someone? Do you start to think that nothing will ever happen so you stop trying?

Of course not! It’s never too late.

Yesterday has gone but your life starts now.   The first step is to take action and do something to realise your dreams.  Many people wait for things to happen to them rather than going out of their way to make their own luck.  They’ll make excuses as to why they aren’t getting dates rather than take responsibility themselves. Perhaps they are just too busy, too fussy or they’ll magically meet Mr or Ms Right.

The truth is that you need to help fate along a little. If you want to meet someone new, you really can make it happen quickly as soon as you make the choice to do something about it.

Do everything you can to make opportunities for yourself that might be the catalyst to meeting new people.  Accept every invitation and get yourself well and truly out there. Announce to the world that you are a single and ready to meet someone.

If this sounds like you, we want to help.  Why not attend some of our fantastic singles parties or use our online dating site?  There are 1000s of people just like you who could be your ideal match.

Good luck!
James Preece – The Dating Guru

www.singlesolution.com

If you want to start dating amazing women you need to know what you then want.

So today we’ll tell you the top 5 things on their wish list.

1) Sense of Humour

This is probably THE Most important thing. If you can charm them by making them laugh then they’ll love you for it.   Humour is a great distraction and the quickest way to build rapport.

2) Core Values

Everyone has their own unique set of values and things that are important to them. This will vary from person to person but common themes will be wanting children, long or short term relationships, how you deal with money etc.   If these aren’t mutually agreed upon then there won’t be a future for you.  Try and and find out if you are compatible as early as possible.

3) Patience

Life can be tough but don’t let he see you get stressed or angry. Patience is always vital when you are listening to her.  Make her feel special and don’t interrupt, even if you are desperate too.

4) Manliness

A real man takes charge of situations and.  Women are more attracted to a dominant man, so stand up straight and put your shoulders back.  Be respectful to others but make sure you are always assertive too.

5) Romance

All women want a little romance in their lives.  Buy her flowers, surprise her with candlelit dinners. Treat her like a lady and act like a gentleman and you’ll see great results.

Of course, everyone wants different things and some are much more important that others.  But if you work on these five then you’ll be in a great position and set yourself ahead of your competition.

Good luck!

James Preece – The Dating Guru

www.singlesolution.com

Sometimes you think things are going well in a relationship.

But they tell you they need some space and things are going to quickly.

So how should you react?

First of all, you need to question just why they are getting cold feet.  Perhaps they feel a bit pressured and aren’t sure about you, or maybe you’re being too demanding.

It doesn’t necessarily mean the relationship is over, just that they need more time to think about it.

You should call their bluff a bit and back off for a while.  By giving them the opportunity to miss you, they’ll start thinking about you much more when you aren’t together. Make them value your time together more.

They are probably taking you for granted a bit too much, so let them see their friends and give them the space. Just don’t be too quick to see her when they decide they want to!

Good luck,

James Preece  -   The Dating Guru

www.singlesolution.com

If you want to get results in anything you need to know exactly what you want.

After all, if you don’t know what you want how will you know when you’ve got it?

So you need to make yourself a dating “shopping list.”    If you want to make a cake or cook a meal you wouldn’t just stumble around the supermarket guessing at ingredients.

Instead, you’d write down everything you might want and the exact quantities too.   It’s the same when it comes to dating.

Who exactly do you want to meet? What’s important to you?  What are the deal breakers and what could you put up with?

It’s fine to be optimistic but you need to be realistic too. The longer the list then the longer it will take to meet someone who ticks all the boxes.  Therefore you must be careful that you only write down the really really important things that will matter in a relationship.   Don’t worry too much about height, weight, age etc but instead focus on the important issues like fidelity, love and truthfulness.   You need to be emotionally compatible.

Once you’ve made your list, put it somewhere that you look often. Perhaps on a mirror or on a post-it note on your computer monitor. That’s why you’ll subconsciously keep looking at it and you’ll ready yourself for when meet new people.

Give it a go and let me know what happens.

Good luck!

James Preece   – The Dating Guru

www.singlesolution.com

I’ve got another dating question in my inbox

Keep reading to find out my answers and opinions on this.

“Dear James,

I’m 31 and am I mature student at University.  I’m very focused on my studies.  I’m very shy and don’t meet many boys so haven’t had much experience with dating.  However,  just before Christmas one of my tutors started flirting with me.  I did like him but didn’t know how to handle it as he’s a bit older than me – 45.   He invited me to his flat for drinks but I said I would prefer to meet him in a public place.  After that he’s just been mean to me. He flirts with lots of the women and has been hitting on a 21 year old recently just to wind me up.    I know he’s dated quite a few students in the past.

Should I make a move or just ignore him?  I graduate in May.”

Hi,
Many thanks for your question – I’ll do my best to advise you.

My initial feeling on this is that you are probably best off staying away from him.  He obviously likes the fact that due to his position he can get the interest of much younger women.  For him, it’s all about a quick easy bit of fun.  He probably enjoys playing games and if you don’t give in to what he wants he sulks and moves on to another.

Suppose you did get together with him.  How long do you think it will last?   Will he stay with you for a few months and then move on to someone else once he gets new students?   I’ve come across this sort of person before and they are usually already in a relationship.  A 46 year old man should not be trying to flirt or date a 21 year old girl.  It just shows what kind of person he is and how he’s not mature enough for the proper relationship you deserve.

However…..if you realise that this would only be a short term “fling” and you are completely comfortable with that, then that’s absolutely fine.  I just worry this will make it harder for you to meet someone else in future.
If you really really do want to give him a chance then write him an email or suggest you meet for a drink.   Then you can at least discuss it.  There’s nothing to lose at this point.

I’d suggest you keep this professional and keep your distance.  Focus on your studies until May as that’s the most important thing of all.

Once May is over you’ll soon be meeting new people. You can sign up to some online dating sites like Singlesolution.com  at that point and start going on dates with people who will treat you better.

I hope this helps and do let me know what you decide to do!

Best Wishes,

James Preece – The Dating Guru

www.singlesolution.com

Here’s something many people might find hard.

It’s especially useful if you plan to attend one of our Single Solution parties.

If you are at a social event and don’t know many people it can be hard to join a conversation. They all seem to be having a lovely time but you feel like you are on the edge, looking in.

So here are my Dating Guru tips to help make this easier for you.

1) Find a friend. It’s a lot easier to break into a group if you have a wing man/woman with you. So pair up with someone else in the same situation and stick together for a while.

2) Arrive early. it can be tempting to turn up late to a party so you can sneak in as unoticed as possible. However, by that time the other guests will have formed little groups and already bonded. By arriving early you can have a headstart on everyone else and have first choice in talking to new arrivals.

3) Being on your own isn’t a problem. If you find yourself on your own then don’t worry, just take a short while to reflect and enjoy your own company. Go up to the bar and buy a drink and you’ll soon get the chance to meet new people.

4) Smile. This is the single most important thing you can do. If you stand around looking miserable then nobody will want you to talk to them. Look like a warm, friendly person and groups will welcome your positive vibes.

5) Don’t forget that all the Single Solution parties have lots of great hosts to help you. Have a quiet word and say you’d like some help and they’ll do their best to make some useful, discreet introductions.

Good luck!

James Preece – The Dating Guru

www.singlesolution.com

It’s that annoying time of year for singles – Wedding season.

Everyone seems to be paired off except for you.

You can really feel the pressure on you as you watch more and more of your friends settle down.  But you are always the one left on your own or dating unsuitable people.

It’s my firm belief that there is someone for everyone out there.  In fact, every day I hear about “long term” singletons finally getting married to the right person.   I’m even about to do it myself.

I can tell you exactly who WON’T find love.  That’s the people who never bother to sign up for a dating site like Singlesolution.com or attend a singles parties. They are the ones sat at home feeling sorry for themselves but taking now action to improve things. If you don’t put yourself out there then how can you seriously expect to meet anyone?

You must make the most of every opportunity and be ready to take them head on.

Just remember to be patient and optimistic.  It will happen for you but need to make sure you are doing everything possible to help it along the way!

Do think about what you like in people and don’t get caught up with rules or a long check list. Don’t rule people out because of a few small negative points. Try to find people with whom, you can engage in a shared experience, activity or hobby that will help you connect on a deeper level. This is important because you have to bond – you are unlikely to find a “ready made” match.

If you every need any help or enouragement then we are always here.

Happy dating!
James Preece – The Dating Guru

www.singlesolution.com

Here’ s a quick tip for you.

Do you know what the most wonderful sound is?

It’s hearing your own name.  This is the most magical, wonderful thing you can hear as it’s so important to you.   Everyone wants to hear it as it instantly makes you feel comfortable and important.

If you want to pass these great feelings on to another person then use their name. Make sure you drop this in the conversation every now and again.  Not all the time or you’ll sound like a nutcase or as if you are trying to manipulate them.  Just sprinkle it in where it matters.

You can do this in non dating capacities too.  If you get a telephone call from a stranger, write down their name on a notepad.   If you meet someone for the first time then do everything you can to remember who they are.  You’ll build rapport quicker and make them feel good. They’ll associate you with these good feelings too.

It’s especially powerful if you want to introduce them to someone else.  Imagine how you would feel if you met someone at a party and then an hour later they come up to you and introduce you to a third person.  When they do, they refer to you by name.  Can you think how flattered you would be?

If you had a bad memory, then try to make a mental connection with their name as soon as you can.  For example, “James” could be “James Bond”, so imagine them in a tuxedo and carrying a gun.   Or maybe you have an Uncle James who they remind you of.  The more you do it the better you’ll get.

Happy Dating,
James Preece – The Dating Guru

www.singlesolution.com

We all know that keeping fit is good for you.

But it can also help you get lots more dates.

Obviously looking good is going to help you get more dates.  You’ll have more energy if you regularly work out and people will notice your toned, defined body shape.  As well as this you’ll get the chance to interact with lots of others singles.

However, did you know that going to the gym, or any sort of activity that gets your heart beating can increase your confidence?

This is because the body releases a huge variety of chemicals whenever you exercise.  These will make you feel amazing and work in helping you feel much more sexy and confident.

These chemicals include:

Endorphins:  The combat pain and give you a natural high

Noradrenaline/ norepinephrine (NE):  Morphine like chemical that fights pain and makes you feel more confident.

Serotonin:  This increases the feeling of happiness in the brain.

Phenylethylamine ( PEA):  This is the chemical that’s found in chocolate and is a very powerful anti-depressant.
When you exert a little effort you are unleashing all these wonderful chemicals to boost your mood.  You’ll feel ready to face the world, much more confident and so much happier. Others will see this and you’ll soon be getting more dates.

So what better excuse do you need to dig your trainers out from the back of the cupboard and head to the gym?   In fact, I’d even suggest you go for a run or a light workout before you have a date.  Just make sure you have a shower first!

Good luck,

James Preece – The Dating Guru

www.singlesolution.com