I’ve got another dating question in my inbox

Keep reading to find out my answers and opinions on this.

“Dear James,

I’m 31 and am I mature student at University.  I’m very focused on my studies.  I’m very shy and don’t meet many boys so haven’t had much experience with dating.  However,  just before Christmas one of my tutors started flirting with me.  I did like him but didn’t know how to handle it as he’s a bit older than me – 45.   He invited me to his flat for drinks but I said I would prefer to meet him in a public place.  After that he’s just been mean to me. He flirts with lots of the women and has been hitting on a 21 year old recently just to wind me up.    I know he’s dated quite a few students in the past.

Should I make a move or just ignore him?  I graduate in May.”

Hi,
Many thanks for your question – I’ll do my best to advise you.

My initial feeling on this is that you are probably best off staying away from him.  He obviously likes the fact that due to his position he can get the interest of much younger women.  For him, it’s all about a quick easy bit of fun.  He probably enjoys playing games and if you don’t give in to what he wants he sulks and moves on to another.

Suppose you did get together with him.  How long do you think it will last?   Will he stay with you for a few months and then move on to someone else once he gets new students?   I’ve come across this sort of person before and they are usually already in a relationship.  A 46 year old man should not be trying to flirt or date a 21 year old girl.  It just shows what kind of person he is and how he’s not mature enough for the proper relationship you deserve.

However…..if you realise that this would only be a short term “fling” and you are completely comfortable with that, then that’s absolutely fine.  I just worry this will make it harder for you to meet someone else in future.
If you really really do want to give him a chance then write him an email or suggest you meet for a drink.   Then you can at least discuss it.  There’s nothing to lose at this point.

I’d suggest you keep this professional and keep your distance.  Focus on your studies until May as that’s the most important thing of all.

Once May is over you’ll soon be meeting new people. You can sign up to some online dating sites like Singlesolution.com  at that point and start going on dates with people who will treat you better.

I hope this helps and do let me know what you decide to do!

Best Wishes,

James Preece – The Dating Guru

www.singlesolution.com

This entry was posted on Tuesday, May 10th, 2011 at 9:49 am and is filed under Dating Advice. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.