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To pay or not to pay
Dating Etiquette.
To pay or not to pay that is the question….
Ok lets be honest, the old fashioned ‘man pays for everything’ has gone out of the window, however when one is first embarking on what could be ‘the’ relationship what are the do’s and don’ts of paying on dates?
After much questioning of friends of both genders I have come to the following conclusions – the majority of women in my experience are more than happy to pay there share – there are a few out there who expect have everything bought for them –but they are the exception not the rule. BUT and this is a biggie- it is widely acknowledged that the first time one goes for dinner the man should pay- friends share- lover’s don’t!
If your first date is meeting for drinks, generally you will probably both have bought a round – this means that you already know that the girl you are with is quite prepared to pay her share .If a second date is arranged and this involves going for dinner then this should be paid for by the man- you already like this person enough to invest more time in seeing them, so invest in other ways too- it doesn’t have to be a flash restaurant although the local kebab shop is probably not ideal.
If you are a really smooth operator you will discreetly pay for the meal when your date is in the powder room – this avoids awkward sitting starring at the bill moments- on occasions when this has happened I do offer to pay, however if my offer is accepted I am to put it mildly, shocked. The chances are that if he has paid, next time we go out I’ll pay – but if someone has shown themselves to be a bit tight its makes you question whether a third date will happen….!
Thanks to Charlotte for this article.
October 7th, 2008 at 12:33 pm
So what does it mean when the women lets you pay?…
Probably nothing, that’s the rules, but it should mean that she “quite likes” you. or has enjoyed the date.
Ladies – If you do NOT like the man, then it is misleading and unfair to let him pay. If you pay your half then it sends a clear signal to the man.
October 26th, 2008 at 4:04 pm
In these times where women want and have equality, quite rightly so. I think the bill should be split 50/50, unless you are a freeloader.
And think about it if a guy goes on 10 seperate dates which for a meal with wine would cost £40 – £50 if your very selective, its cost him more than £500 and you lucky ladies £0. Would you not feel a tad guilty?
I would ask the question ‘do you have any self respect?’
October 26th, 2008 at 6:49 pm
If a man asks me to dinner,I would expect him to pay.My investment,and I guess it goes for most women too,is the time,effort and cost of making sure I look gorgeous.
The hair,new clothes,stockings etc all take time and money.Of course,we could chose to turn up in some old thing,with no make up,but who would do that?
On a safety note,I’d be driving,so there will not be a cost of alcohol,and I keep my choices moderate.
I don’t know of anyone who’d waste her precious time and self investment,just to get a meal,that’s why we have supermarkets.
It’s about making impressions,and worth it for the prize.