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Top dating turn offs
As the UK’s leading Dating Coach, I often get told about people’s biggest dating turn offs. Sometimes they can be really small things, but there are certain key reasons that come up time and time again. If you are committing any of these dating sins then it’s time for you to do something about it!
1) Body Odour and poor personal hygiene. This frequently tops most people’s list of turn offs. Always make sure you shower, sort out your hair and smell nice if you want to attract other people.
2) Smoking. Not only is this anti-social but it gives you terrible breath and shows you don’t take your health seriously. Interestingly enough, it seems that even smokers don’t want to date other smokers!
3) Avoiding eye contact. Always remember that eye contact is crucial so don’t stare at the floor. If you look nervous then it just gives the impression that you have something to hide.
4) Being self centred. You really don’t need to talk endlessly about yourself or stare at the mirror the whole time. Focus on the person you are dating and make them feel like the centre of your universe.
5) Negativity. There’s nothing worse than a “victim” and talking about all your problems on a date. It’s just not attractive! Instead, try and see the positive side of everything and remember to laugh and smile often.
6) Being a cheapskate. We say this time and time again but men should always pay the bill on the first date but the woman should at least offer. If you are stingy with money then you are probably stingy with your time and affection too.
7) Not having a photo on your dating profile. This is major error that many people seem to make. If you don’t have a photo or demand to see one before sending out yours, then it shows insecurity and the strong possibility that you have something to hide. Even worse are photos with sunglasses or hats. Why would you wear the hat if you had a lovely head of hair?
8 ) Being too keen/ too sexual. There’s nothing wrong with showing that you are serious about dating but don’t take things to far or too fast. You don’t need to jump into bed right away or make plans for the next five weekends on your first date. Take a little time to get to know each other slowly. Give yourselves time to miss each other.
9) Not making it clear when you aren’t interested. Some people think they are being kind by not directly rejecting someone. Instead they just ignore calls, emails and texts and cut off all contact. The trouble with this is that nobody gets any closure and it just stretches it out. If you have to, be polite and honest rather than give them hope. It’s kinder in the long run!
10) Trying to change them. It can sometimes be easy to overlook the flaws in a relationship. Instead, you think that you will be able to sort them out and get them to work on the things you don’t like. Wrong! Focus on the things you do like about them. Everyone has flaws and they just make is human. If you were both perfect life could be very boring indeed.
I’d love to hear about your own dating turn offs. Add a comment on this blog or email me at james@singlesolution.com
James Preece – The Dating Guru
www.singlesolution.com
March 30th, 2010 at 3:24 pm
This is the biggie – Not making it clear when you aren’t interested.
I hear time and time again from people who persist in believing that the person they dated is just too busy to return a text or phone call.
If you aren’t interested, give closure.
It takes courage to tell someone the truth, preferably in person, or by phone. Telling someone that you dont want to see them anymore by a text message is a bit mean, especially after several dates. However, if you really cant bare to speak to them, at least it gets the message across relatively painlessly. After one date text message is OK really.